Why?

Did you know that approximately 605,479 women get pregnant each day? This means that there are about 220 million women that get pregnant each year. Seems pretty easy? In fact, 15 year olds conceive during a one-time youthful indiscretion, crack-heads conceive while high on drugs, prostitutes conceive often while “on the job”, lovers conceive who are not yet ready to make a commitment… Many of these pregnancies that occur “accidentally” result in over 1.2 million abortions (murders) in the United States each year.

While all of this is occurring in the world, women like me who are in committed, godly relationships who are actively, desperately trying to conceive cannot. And we look to the statistics and ask, “why not us?” We know that 85% of women actively trying are able to achieve pregnancy within a year. And we ask, “why not us?” Month after month, year after year,  we hope, we wait, we pray…and nothing. “Why can’t we be a part of the 85%?” we ask. “What sin have we not confessed?” we ask. “Why don’t we deserve what the other 85% have?” we ask. “What is God trying to teach us?” we ask. “Why does a good God plan and prescribe bad things to happen to us, who are striving to do what is good and right?” we ask.

I firmly believe it’s okay to ask why, to be sad, to cry out, to long for answers. But I also believe, Jesus brings people to the edge of self-sufficiency and urges us to fall to the ground in surrender. I believe, Jesus is present when people are broken. I believe, that no matter what, even if God calls me home tonight in my sleep, He never stepped off His throne. He simply brought me closer to it. I believe that God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. I believe that God is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.

“Why?” we ask. We may never know why. We may never know all the answers. We may never get pregnant. But we do know that God is sovereign. We do know He knows all the answers. We do know He has a reason. And we can trust Him. He is our hope. He is our joy. He is our all and all. He is all we need.

Dear Lord, I receive your timing. I accept that you know so I don’t have to. Even when it all goes wrong.

Excerpts from Grace for the Good Girl and God’s Word

~Paige Giarrizzo