"Not Pregnant"

The words on the little plastic stick simply confirmed a continuation of the reality we’ve known for the past 3 years and 4 months. The state of "Not Pregnant" has been the only state we’ve ever experienced. We are all-too-familiar with this status; familiar, but again disappointed at a very deep, emotional level.

Fueling the disappointment this time was the increased expectation. Though we tried to mentally fight against the gleeful thoughts of a different, happier potential outcome, the quiet optimism proved too difficult to squelch completely.

The procedure had been simple; it seemed so hassle-free, so straight-forward. No red lights; no closed doors. Physically, everything seemed to be in order. Was this the light of God’s blessing shining down upon us? The doctor smiled at us as if conception was a foregone conclusion. But as we are still learning,

Pregnancy is never a foregone conclusion with God.

Deep inside us—in that very intimate place where one would expect life to begin—there is an emptiness that we can only fill with hope. What else fits that void but a kind of faith-filled expectation? In our painful times of waiting and wrestling, we find our watery eyes taking focus and seeing Someone Who knows our griefs because He Himself has experienced greater griefs than we can ever imagine. It’s only that vision through eyes of faith—granted by grace—that causes us to hope.

God has already written our story, and we have the privilege of reading it one day at a time. This current chapter of our lives contains more sadness than previous chapters, but we look forward to the unknown plot turns in the coming chapters. We anticipate the future because God is the Author, and the Author is Love.

While God has never promised us a biological child, He has already fulfilled in providing us His only child: our Savior, Jesus. And in remembering that fact we have already learned a most important truth:

Love for His children is always a foregone conclusion with God.

~David