Graduation Delayed

"Okay, Lord, I'm ready to graduate now!"

...That's what I found myself thinking recently as we awaited the news of another round of fertility treatment.

Truly, we've been learning so many lessons over the past 3+ years as we've struggled with infertility. And at some point recently I kind of hoped that I've learned all the lessons God has wanted to teach me through this trial; as if I've absorbed all of God's instruction for me. Somehow I mistakenly figured that it ought to be about time to move on to something else; the next chapter in God's textbook, a different set of lessons altogether (...parenting perhaps?). I guess I’ve unintentionally imagined that this struggle of ours has been like four years of college, and now I’m done with my formal studies and ready to receive my diploma and celebrate graduation.

But life is not that simple.

God’s will for us is not so limited.

His classes may last a lifetime.

In analyzing my thoughts through this, I've begun to realize the depth of my own sinful arrogance and finite ignorance. I find myself once again pushing and pushing my will upon His, instead of intentionally surrendering my will to His. And this by itself is a lesson I must continually learn -- to follow the example of our Savior and submit myself to the will of God.

While we may never officially graduate from God's school of suffering, the good news here is that Paige and I couldn't ask for a better, more wise, more loving Teacher. Our Divine Instructor knows our sins and weaknesses, and He gives us everything we need for all of life -- physically and spiritually. Even the difficult lessons that seem unlearnable and the terrible adversities that seem unconquerable -- even they are intended for our good. 

  

I recently stumbled across these words of Hudson Taylor, and they sum up the matter perfectly:

"Ill that God blesses is our good

And unblest good is ill.

And all is right that seems most wrong

If it be his sweet will."

~David

Lessons Learned (and Learning...)

I've slowly been trying to put into very simple words the various lessons God has been teaching us through our journey in infertility. I think of it like this: If infertility were a school, these would be the class names and lesson titles in which we are studying and learning. The list I've been compiling is in no way exhaustive, but it begins to at least give an idea of the diversity of subjects upon which God has been lecturing and examining us. And as we work our way through our years at the school of infertility, we know that our Divine Headmaster surely has many more classes and lessons prepared for us...

God is Loving

God is Sovereign

The Silence of God

Waiting Upon the Lord

Dealing with Worry/Anxiety

Trusting the Lord

The Importance of Prayer

The Benefits of Prayer

The Importance of God's Word

The Encouragement from God's Word

Counseling Ourselves

Counseling One Another

Loving One Another

The Importance of the Local Church Family

The Importance of Corporate Prayer Meetings

God's Providence

The Encouragement from Answered Prayers

God Works Everything Out for Our Good and His Glory

Worship

The Benefits of Intimate Friendships

The Danger of Sin

God Disciplines Those He Loves

The Option of Adoption

Children Are a Blessing from the Lord

Be Grateful for What We Have

Contentment in Christ

Suffering

The Mystery of God's Will

Joy at All Times

God Uses Human Means

God Wants Us to Lean on Each Other

Beware of Idolatry

Bearing One Another's Burdens

Iron Sharpens Iron

Growing in Faith

Patience

Sadness

~David  

A Family of Two

"So when are you going to start a family?"

"What do you mean?...We already did; over 9 years ago, actually!"

It really is a harmless question, and not one to which we really take offense. But it's a question based on the false pretense that a family begins with children. But in fact, if we travel back to remember the first family unit, we should acknowledge that it existed before either Cain or Abel were born to Adam and Eve. God set Adam in the garden and He gave him a wife. Once God had created Eve, He had created the first family unit.

Society - even our religious society subset - has defined for us what the family is. A simple web search of "the definition of a family" pulls the following result: "a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household." But I would argue from Genesis that a family is, at its foundation, the marriage of a man and a woman. Of course a family can easily be defined as more than this; but it should never be defined as less than this.

It is the marriage relationship that creates a family. As the husband, I am the head of my household; my family. Were God never to grant to me and Paige children, I am still the head of my home and the spiritual leader of my family of two. Just as God held Adam responsible for the sins of his family - his wife and himself (as well as all of his descendants) - there will come a day when I too will be held accountable before God for how I led my family, even if that is just me and my wife.

Maybe it's semantics. I'm okay with admitting that. But words have meaning, and especially in the context of a couple struggling with infertility, the idea of a "family" begins - and sometimes even ends - with only two.

Food for thought.

~David