Graduation Delayed

"Okay, Lord, I'm ready to graduate now!"

...That's what I found myself thinking recently as we awaited the news of another round of fertility treatment.

Truly, we've been learning so many lessons over the past 3+ years as we've struggled with infertility. And at some point recently I kind of hoped that I've learned all the lessons God has wanted to teach me through this trial; as if I've absorbed all of God's instruction for me. Somehow I mistakenly figured that it ought to be about time to move on to something else; the next chapter in God's textbook, a different set of lessons altogether (...parenting perhaps?). I guess I’ve unintentionally imagined that this struggle of ours has been like four years of college, and now I’m done with my formal studies and ready to receive my diploma and celebrate graduation.

But life is not that simple.

God’s will for us is not so limited.

His classes may last a lifetime.

In analyzing my thoughts through this, I've begun to realize the depth of my own sinful arrogance and finite ignorance. I find myself once again pushing and pushing my will upon His, instead of intentionally surrendering my will to His. And this by itself is a lesson I must continually learn -- to follow the example of our Savior and submit myself to the will of God.

While we may never officially graduate from God's school of suffering, the good news here is that Paige and I couldn't ask for a better, more wise, more loving Teacher. Our Divine Instructor knows our sins and weaknesses, and He gives us everything we need for all of life -- physically and spiritually. Even the difficult lessons that seem unlearnable and the terrible adversities that seem unconquerable -- even they are intended for our good. 

  

I recently stumbled across these words of Hudson Taylor, and they sum up the matter perfectly:

"Ill that God blesses is our good

And unblest good is ill.

And all is right that seems most wrong

If it be his sweet will."

~David