Father's Days Are Hard Too…

In our household, we prepare for Mother's Day. We start thinking about it weeks in advance. What's the plan? Should we go out of town this year? Should we stay home from church? Should we go late to church? Should we skip the festivities? And every year, after much prayer, we do the same thing we do every Sunday. We go to church. We celebrate the Lord's Day. We spend a LOT of time mentally and spiritually preparing for the day. We participate in the family lunch. We celebrate all the mothers. We survive and start another typical week.

It's a difficult day. We hold back tears. We try to be happy for everyone else. We try to smile and "ooo" and "ahhh" over the babies and play with the children. We try to engage in the conversations, all the while hoping we can leave this "awkward for us" situation as soon as possible. Inside, we feel like we don't fit in. The mothers get to go through the lunch line first. The mothers open their gifts. The mothers take pictures with their children. And we feel awkward and out of place. But we make it through the day, by God's grace, and move on. A sigh of relief is breathed out, and we thank God we have a whole year before we have to participate in this terrible day again.

And then, IT happens! Only a month later, without any forewarning, Father's Day is here. Only this time we have not prepared! We are not ready for the flood of emotions and uncomfortableness that this day brings. For just like Mother's Day, it's a repeat. The fathers get to go through the lunch line first; the fathers open presents; the fathers take pictures with their children and their fathers. And we awkwardly stumble through the day as if smacked on the side of the head with the broad side of a board. What was that?, we ask. Why didn't we prepare ourselves? we inquire within. And we walk away bewildered, confused, and usually in tears.

Some days it feels like infertility only gets more difficult. I don't have any words of wisdom or great advice that will magically make everything okay. I do, however, keep hearing the words of a chorus sung at our church this past Sunday, on Father's Day:

I cling to Christ, and marvel at the cost:
Jesus forsaken, God estranged from God.
Bought by such love, my life is not my own.
My praise-my all-shall be for Christ alone. 

We cling to Christ. We know our lives are not our own. And our hope and praise is for Christ alone.

~Paige